Jul 14, 2020

You can do hard things

you-can-do-hard-things

Here you are. Right now. Feel your feet on the earth.

Take a deep breath in. Let it out.

Find a moment to get quiet and consider these questions: 

  • Are you feeling the intensity of this moment?
  • How are you resourcing and staying connected to your center?
  • What coping strategies are working?
  • What isn’t working?
  • How do you know the difference?

It was announced that more businesses need to close again in Southern California. There is a blanket of anxiety over whether or not it’s safe for the littles to go back to school. Attempting to really allow nuance in that statement and the different circumstances we are each in, whether parents, teachers or other school administration and faculty.  

I am grateful for the privilege that I have to be able to keep Luisa home if I need to and at the same time I also am mourning the loss of what we were all so excited about...kindergarten!! This is the human experience. The both, and. There is complexity. There is nuance. Always. 

But, when our nervous system is stuck in a fight, flight, or freeze response it can be very difficult to see the complexity and nuance. It’s much easier to only see the binary. To become reactive. It can be difficult to get clear and think creatively about how this all might work out. 

I will be honest. I have been in the ‘this is a disaster’ mindset for the past week. I am anxious, angry, scared, sad, and disappointed. My husband is not in the country and we do not know when he can come back. This means caring for my little alone, without childcare if I choose not to send her back to school. 

Some days I want to curl up and cry. Some days I want to scream and throw things. Some days I want to shake it out of my body. All of it. The anger, the anxiety, the fear.

The truth? I don’t want to put my business on pause to homeschool my little. I love my work. It’s already been really challenging for me over the past several months to put my work on hold not just because I love it so much but because I know how much it can support others during these uncertain times. 

And, I am worried about Luisa. She thrives in school and this year she was so excited to start kindergarten. She misses her friends. Her behavior has become unmanageable at times. She tells me she is worried that things will never go back to 'normal'. She misses her dad and we don’t know when he can come home. She senses my sadness and tries to ‘take care of me’. It’s a lot for her little body to manage. 

Today I said to myself. Enough. It’s time to surrender to what is and start choosing a new mindset. 

And as Glennon Doyle often says, “I can do hard things.”

It’s time for a reframe. 

This begins with surrender. Something that is not my default way of being in the world. I am a planner, type A, pitta. But, my yoga and meditation practices have helped me learn this skill over the past decade. I just have to breathe and remember. Maybe you can relate? 

Surrendering to this current reality is key. Then asking myself to remember what I already know. There are very specific things that I can do to make sure I am well through this. To make sure that I can continue to show up as the best version of me. For myself, for Luisa, for my community, for the collective. 

This is true for you as well. You can do hard things. 

  • Commit to simple, daily habits that invite the body to realign with nature. This will always support your ability to show up and do hard things and even thrive despite these challenges. Nourish. Move. Breathe. Sit. Connect.
  • Instead of allowing yourself to fall into a pit of despair remember the practices that keep you centered and resourced. This is THE time to be focusing on taking care of your body.
    • For me it's yoga, walking, running, swimming. Being in nature. Sleep. Getting to my cushion. 
  • Ask for help. Find your community. Create one if you have to. We are not meant to do this alone. 

So, whatever hard things you need to be doing in this moment...remember. You can do hard things. Connect to your own anchor practices. The habits and rituals that support your body's ability to be grounded and resourced. 

You've got this. 


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Stay resourced
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But, even when our physiology is developed there are life experiences and circumstances that make it more difficult to manage big emotions and the stressors of life. This is trauma. Trauma is anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope and respond. And it leaves us feeling helpless, hopeless and out of control. I believe we are living through massive collective trauma right now. Massive. 

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Yoga has prepared us for this moment. Yoga on the mat teaches us how to be present with discomfort, to set boundaries, to use discernment. The mat is simply our laboratory. It’s where we get to investigate our edges and build up our resilience toolbox.